Lexifabricographer

January 22, 2010

Unfit for fitness

Filed under: Uncategorized, fitter/happier — lexifab @ 3:47 pm

I’m pretty bad at exercise. I don’t imagine I’m alone there: not too many of my close acquaintances are particularly inclined to fitness (Andrew’s an exception, but I don’t think ‘disciplined’ is the word he would use to characterise his fitness regimen). Given that the advantages and benefits of a rigorous approach to personal health and fitness are obvious, I’ve been thinking a little about why I’m not all that worked up about workouts.

It’s an oversimplification to just call myself lazy and move on. I mean, I am lazy, no doubt – but why? I like being active and doing energetic and exhausting things almost as much as I like profoundly sedentary activities like sitting about reading a book or hours-long roleplaying sessions or playing video games. But I engage in the latter group of activities overwhelmingly more often than I do anything that could be described by the former. If I were skiing or swimming or playing cricket, I would happily do those things for hours upon hours at a time, far in excess of what my typical fitness levels will comfortably allow, yet previous attempts to ‘get in shape for the summer/winter’ have historically failed within weeks, if not days.

I think this might call for a list:

  • Time – At this stage of my life (when one gets to the age of nearly-forty, it is mandatory that one begins speaking in terms of one’s ’stage of life’; this is an irrefutable law of nature), the small amount of free time available to me is reduced further by competing interests (i.e. playing with the Joey, watching The Wire, writing blog entries). Unless I want to get out of bed at 5 am (I don’t) or go for a run after the baby is put in bed at around 7:30 pm – when I would prefer to be eating dinner – there’s just not that much time spare for a couple of sets of tennis or an hour on a bench press.
  • Convenience – Unless I exercise at home or I take advantage of the great outdoors nearby, the time problem is exacerbated by getting to and fro, usually beyond the point where I can be bothered. This used to be less of a concern when I was driving to fencing or indoor cricket, but it has been a while since I’ve done either. I just don’t see where I can fit transit and/or preparation time into a daily routine already constrained by the needs of my little boy. Damned if I know where people with multiple kids would get the time.
  • Physiology – I’m pretty lucky in that I gain weight pretty slowly and lose it pretty quickly, according to the amount of exercise I am doing. I’ve never been what you would call fit (though I have certainly had periods when I was stronger and had better stamina) but I’ve never ballooned out either, despite a world-class sweet tooth. I assume that I just have one of those metabolisms that burn a bit hotter than is usual. far from taking advantage of that to become one of those lean athletic types you see on TV, I’ve gone the opposite direction of habitually doing no more than the absolute minimum work necessary to maintain myself in semi-reputable physical condition. I’m pretty much habituated to relying on this to manage my weight for me. Thinking about it, that’s probably how middle-aged spread starts for most people.
  • Jack-of-all-trades by nature – (This one might be a long bow, but I decided to draw it anyway and see how it feels). I’ve never been much of a one for expertise. I would rather know a small amount about a lot of things, or be able to demonstrate a wide range of skills with competence, rather than attain a high degree of specific ability. Developing real skills or significant depths of knowledge requires application, practise, repetition over long periods. I’ve never been able to pull the trick on my own brain of becoming ambitious or determined or diligent enough to just keep going and going and going at anything – be it playing an instrument or learning to program or comprehending economics – past the point of ‘good enough’ or general understanding and into the realms of genuine skill and enlightenment.
  • Boredom threshold – This should be at the top of the list, no doubt. Mindless, repetitive running and stretching and lifting and just generally doing the sorts of things that create resistance/relaxation cycles and build muscle memory and so on are really fucking boring. My problem is that I can’t easily switch off my brain, which demands a constant stream of novelty or it starts to get cranky. That’s why I can exercise in front of a TV or play a team sport that requires interaction with other people, but I can’t run more than two hundred metres without getting the shits with it. It doesn’t help that I am really not a great music listener, so jamming in some earbuds and seeing how far I can jog to the ‘Streets of Fire’ soundtrack just doesn’t work for me.
  • Too much burn, not enough zone – Further to the last point, my periods of sincere effort to ‘get fit’ are so infrequent and intermittent that I am intimately familar with ‘the burn’, which tends to appear about nine seconds after commencing physical exertions and dissipating about three days later, give or take a muscle spasm. But I have never become closely acquainted with this ‘zone’ that athletes – runners, typically - talk about. You know, where they claim to lapse into trancelike state in which they could just keep running forever, like they’d suddenly broken into an uplifting training montage. The wind blows through their hair, their limbs pump with metronomic precision and a sexy sheen of honestly-bought perspiration glistens at their brow. If my description sounds less than convincing, it’s because I have my doubts that this phenomenon is anything other than a lactose poisoning-induced fantasy.

I’m not sure what to conclude from this, other than that I should really get onto that technician to come and fix our treadmill.

January 12, 2010

Stories! (Not mine though)

Filed under: the interweb she provides — lexifab @ 6:58 pm

I have nothing useful to contribute to the internet (not that that appears to be a qualifying criterium for participation), but some other people have:

The Things, by Peter Watts, is a clever and audacious retelling of John Carpenter’s 1982 film, the horror classic The Thing. I think the story stands well enough on its own – someone who hasn’t seen the film or at least not recently could perhaps voice an opinion – but I have extraordinarily fond memories of staying up way too late at Ev’s place in the latter years of high school, and this one was a regular feast for our hungry little eyes. It’s paranoid and suspenseful and horrific (and, having seen it again a couple of months ago, the pre-CGI effects stand up pretty well) and has an ambiguously apocalyptic ending that still resonates with me. This short story expands on the film in all sorts of cool and chilling ways, even approaching the material as it does from the potentially-hackneyed monster’s perspective.

Be warned though – the final line contains a consciously nasty bit of wordplay that some readers will find upsetting.

The other thing I’ve come across is a new Laundry short story by Charles Stross. The Laundry is Stross’ underfunded, bureaucratised and wholly cynical civil service agency dedicated to the control and suppression of magic that might if left unchecked allow extradimensional horrors consume our universe. Perhaps it’s the jaded public servant in me, but I adored the first two Laundry novels “The Atrocity Archives” and “The Jennifer Morgue”, and am eagerly awaiting the third instalment (“The Fuller Memorandum”, due out this year, I think). They’re like a sweet and tangy collision between H.P. Lovecraft, John le Carre, Ian Fleming and maybe a bit of early Ludlum. This story’s a pretty good illustration of what to expect.

(Additional note: OMG, in the comments thread after the story, he mentions that he has tentative plans for a fourth Laundry instalment, which will be a Modesty Blaise pastiche! Freakin’ yay!)

Next day addendum:

I’ve also come across – though have yet to read – a Firefly fanfic novel written by Steven Brust (author of the excellent Vlad Taltos novels, which series I am suddenly reminded I am way behind on). Like I say, I haven’t read it yet, but I am (a) an admirer of Brust’s writing and (b) a slavering Firefly fanboy. If you share these predilections, you too can waste your valuable web surfing time instead reading ‘Verse-inclined prose about space cowboys.

January 6, 2010

Standing by to witness the Future unfold

Filed under: news of the day — lexifab @ 10:03 pm

2010, which I’ve always thought of as a bit distant and futuristic – probably because it’s the year that I will, barring unfortunate incidents, turn forty – has suddenly arrived, to the expected total lack of fanfare. While my long-departed younger self might well bemoan the lack of mass public teleportation infrastructure, I suspect that the present me’s preoccupation will tend more towards the mundane, like paying down mortgages and finding effective ways to stop my son from making that eardrum-bursting shrieking sound.

Young Me and I do have one bit of common ground, that of giddy anticipation at the coming year’s new series of Doctor Who. Early signs are promising, though I will say no more until the final 2009 specials are screened.

The Xmas break was quietly industrious, much of it spent on the patio with a paintbrush, a hammer drill or a shovel. (The majority of) the work is done now, and as soon as I get around to downloading the photos from the camera I’ll have a sporty little garden to show off. The best part is that we now have an outdoor area for the Joey to play and draw in, so the loungeroom sofas are in considerably less danger of being attacked with crayons. That stuff is hard to get out.

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t given much thought to what I expect from this year. I suppose that Fi and I will have to do something to mark the occasion of our fortieth birthdays, but nothing relevant is springing to mind. Suggestions are welcome, but be aware that extreme sports are off the table.

I’m waiting for my turn in Facebook Scrabble, trying hard to make something viable from a V, an N, 2 Rs, 2Ds and a T. Unless my opponent obliges with a vowel, I believe that I am screwed. (Edit: I won’t keep you in suspense: a moment later I made “rod” – probably the nadir of my Scrabbling career – then picked up the Q and the J. Inexplicably, my opponent then forfeited, giving me the win. There is no justice in the world.) I keep telling myself this is a more productive use of my time than reading articles on gaming and cricket. Or blogging, probably.

December 20, 2009

My white whale is kind of orange

Filed under: the renovated life — lexifab @ 11:36 pm

I spent most of the weekend up a ladder with Jimbo to get it done, but the patio now has its roof back, for the first time in over a year. Shiny-nail-new Laserlite sheeting, freshly painted beams and about seven dozen ultra-expensive rubber-topped screws, and roughly ten hours in the baking hot sun were all it took to finish the job.

Well, not finish it, exactly – there’s still the house to paint, not to mention the walls, the garage beams, the banisters, the cement and maybe the gate, and a garden to plant and a climbing frame to screw in place, and maybe some lights to have installed – but…the hard bit’s done. At least most of the rest of the job we can do under the shade!

I am knackered. It’s late. I’m dehydrated and probably sunburned. Damn, but it’s a good feeling.

December 17, 2009

Unexpected mental deficiency

Filed under: workin for the man — lexifab @ 12:46 pm

I probably should have anticipated that – after 13 months of not reading policy papers full of public service and development program jargon – my reading comprehension might be slightly below its best. But since yesterday I have read and reread one particular paper that should have brought me more or less completely up to date on what I’ve missed during my absence. I still have no idea what it’s about.

It’s a curious sensation rather akin to suddenly discovering that, while chopsticks present no challenge whatsoever, one has forgotten how to steer a fork. I know that I used to be able to do it with thoughtless ease, and that I can do similar things without conscious effort, but right at this moment I have no idea how it’s done.  It’s not helped at all by the realisation that the last year seems to have seen the invention of several new units of industry jargon that actually are complete gibberish until I can put them in context.

It will come back to me with practise, I have no doubt, but for now it seems this one particular skill has completely dropped off my character sheet. Emotional state: disconcerted.

December 16, 2009

My work here is (not) done

Filed under: workin for the man — lexifab @ 4:48 pm

Just a quick note whilst finishing up my first day back at work after a 13-month child minding hiatus. Nothing here has changed, other than a couple of the faces. I’ve had a breezy first day of staying indoors because it’s gaspingly summery outside (like 35 degrees or something revolting), reading policy docs and getting my phone put back on and my ID card reissued. Heady stuff, as you can imagine.

I’m on three days a week, with my Mondays and Tuesdays set aside for Joey-wrangling (which will include the zoo as soon as this horrible feral weather breaks a bit). So far it’s not too much of a shock to the system. In fact in most respects it doesn’t really feel like I’ve gone anywhere. It’s only a few subtle little things that seem mildly incongruous, like the fact that my neck hurts because I’m in an uncomfortable chair and my desk isn’t at the right height yet, or the fact that the intranet homepage is using a slightly different font.

The work itself will be much the same as the work I was doing when I left, so on the surface it’s almost a seamless transition back into the job. and only doing it part-time will probably make it a lot more bearable than it has occasionally been in the past. So I’m optimistic that 2010 (aka The Future!) will be a relatively cruisey year, health permitting.

I’m working on a big Xmas letter in lieu of actually individually catching up with everyone I have failed to chat with or write to for the last few…well, years, if I tell the truth. I do plan to actually get it out before the end of next week, so if you haven’t heard from me by the feel free to lodge a firmly-worded complaint (and make sure you send me your contact details).

Home time.

November 26, 2009

Notes from the start of the summer

Filed under: cricket, property magnatism, the renovated life — lexifab @ 11:50 am

Thursdays and Fridays are ‘playschool’ day for the Joey, so for the next couple of weeks until I go back to work (sigh), I have a bit of time to get some work done around the place. Of course, today is also the start of the first Test against the Windies from the Gabba, so I am in a quandary.

For the moment I have resolved it by slapping some plaster over the cracks on the front wall. Now I have to wait for an hour or so while it dries before I can paint on the undercoat, so I have little choice but to sit down and take in the action from the first session. Shane Watson’s already done his best to make that seem like a very poor use of my time by getting out without scoring or offering a shot, but I will perservere here for a bit.

My resolution to get the patio finished before the start of summer is on pretty brittle footing at this point. I have, what, another four days to get several more layers of paint applied, erect a climbing frame for the plants, dig out the garden and get the roofing back on. Don’t think it’s going to happen somehow – especially not if the predicted all-weekend storms actually eventuate. But they won’t, so I should be able to make a fair fist of it.

The other major distraction at the moment is the return of the house-buying rigmarole. Fiona has found a little place in Western Australia and had an offer accepted, so now comes the march of inspections, finance applications, quantity surveys, interviewing property managers and the million other little jobs that need doing to get the purchase across the line. We’ve made life difficult for ourselves as usual, this time by timing the deadline for our finance approval at 25 December. Oops, that could be a little awkward – hope we can get it done early. But from my point of view the timing is excellent – it would be very difficult to get all the fiddly little jobs done once I returned to work.

This will be the last property purchase for a while, probably at least a year. We’ve leveraged all the equity that we’ve built up in our own place, so now we need to sit back and wait for some capital growth to take effect. That will probably take a while (that’s sort of the point) and I can imagine a certain amount of impatience creeping in during the lull. Fiona has thrown herself into the research quite aggressively this year – getting us some very good deals into the bargain – and I am anticipating some withdrawal pangs gnawing away while we’re not in a position to do any shopping. For my part, I get to do the monthly reconciliations and property management, so nothing will change for me – I still get to pore over bank statements, credit card bills and scads of invoices for several hair-pulling hours every month…

November 13, 2009

Various things

Filed under: fitter/happier, geekery, joey — lexifab @ 11:20 pm
  • The Joey is perfectly happy being abandoned at childcare. I’m torn between relief that it’s not a drama and mild offense that he isn’t more traumatised by my absence. Nah, not really. It was nice to have a quiet cup of coffee this morning. When I picked him up, he was cheerfully sitting at a table with the other boys and girls, eating lunch and neither crying nor gibbering nor beating his neighbour with a sippy cup. I’d call the experiment an unmitigated success so far.
  • I got the doctor’s verdict on my cholesterol tests today. To my utter lack of surprise I am just over the safe zone for the bad* cholesterol and I could stand to lose about five kilos. This having been true for probably the last fifteen years, I was less than flabbergasted. Still, I suppose it means I should abandon my recent experiments in choux manufacturing and stop lusting after the perfect chocolate eclair (but the miserable failures are so yummy!)
  • Games – a couple of my favourite game designers teamed up a while ago for a secret collaboration codenamed Project Donut, which has recently been revealed as Freemarket, a game about social network dynamics in a transhumanist utopia – or maybe it’s actually about growing really big pumpkins**. I mention this because Luke Crane and Jared Sorensen are really smart, and make games that I really like, and because for a limited time they have made a beta version of the rules available for download. They are planning a similarly limited print run of the finished product (which I believe will be a box set with rulebooks and cards sets). I’ve been quietly socking money away all year to make sure I have the cash handy when it goes on sale. I’m giddy with excitement.
  • A couple of weeks ago I actually set foot inside a video store and reactivated my account. The amused guy at the counter said I hadn’t been in for 65 weeks, which sounds about right. I have decided it’s probably time I caught up on a few of those movies that I’ve been meaning to see for, you know, ages and ages. So far I’ve ploughed through Die Hard 4.0 (verdict: has ridiculous moments but overall was entertaining, and oddly beautifully shot; but should have been released under its US title of Live Free or Die Hard, because four-point-oh is bland and crappy), The Bourne Ultimatum (verdict: Matt Damon has almost no lines in this film, and the fight scenes are edited for maximum chaos and inducement of nausea, but it was fun) and Wall-E (verdict: dunno, the disc wouldn’t play properly). Now I’m going to cheer myself up for the weekend with that feel-good classic, Children of Men (life-affirming tag line: “No children. No future. No hope.” Should be good for a few belly-laughs).

* Whichever one that is – trans fats, maybe? Can’t remember. This paragraph could really have stood a few minutes’ research, huh?

** Not only can you do this in the game, it’s actually used throughout the rules as an extended example of how the game works. It succeeds not only in explaining the systems, but also subtly asserts that this game is so much fun that even small-scale agriculture is an exciting goal. I admire that.

November 12, 2009

Nervous Parent Day

Filed under: joey — lexifab @ 10:00 am

The Joey is spending the morning having orientation at the childcare centre (or “playschool”, as we dubbed it for the sake of convenience).

There were some hints of tears as we departed, but I think we mostly managed to comport ourselves with dignity. Meanwhile, he played with a box full of toy trucks.

On the advice of the centre manager he’s only going to be there an hour this first day (so I will just have time to write this before I go and pick him up again). We will gradually increase it to full days over the next few weeks, so that hopefully he will be fully acclimatised by the time I…ugh…go back to work in mid-December. I daresay he will adjust better than I do.

November 8, 2009

Things are looking up at this end of the weekend

Filed under: Uncategorized, family, the renovated life — lexifab @ 8:59 pm

Looks like we might have got a child care place for the Joey, and at one of my preferred venues, even better. The news couldn’t come at a better time – I’ll have some time before I have to go back to work to polish off the numerous annoying little jobs that need doing before we can use the patio this summer. We actually knocked over one of the most bothersome ones today – putting up a six-metre long fascia board to cover up the insightly picket-fence style across the streetfront face of the patio. Now to paint everything a virulently jaunty tangerine shade and whack the roofing back on (and paint the wall, and clean out the roof gutters, and erect the climbing frame for the jasmine, and plant the end garden, and…etc).

I’m a little bit sunburned, but damn it was worth it to feel like I actually got something useful done.

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