Lexifabricographer For when the right word just won’t do…

April 27, 2007

Brrr

Filed under: news of the day — lexifab @ 1:27 pm

It’s really freaking cold here today, or rather too cold for the single layer of clothes that sees you right through a Canberra summer.

I’m now enough of a native to be aware of the local folklore which contends that Anzac Day invariably marks the sharp decline from late summer into early winter temperatures in Canberra. I suspect the reality is that the cold sets in a bit earlier most of the time, but the numbers of people up and about before dawn on that particular day exceed the norm by a considerable degree, so that the myth gets a disproportionate amount of traction.

Today, however, it’s overcast as well, so it’s not even warming up to the point of being pleasant at lunchtime. It’s lunchtime now, and it’s too damned cold for this shirt.

April 24, 2007

The slow crawl

Filed under: news of the day — lexifab @ 12:15 pm

Still in a perpetual “Long slow God are we there yet Wednesday afternoon” mindset. Still constantly tired. Still rather sore all over, particularly around the neck. I actually thought I might be coming down with the flu, yesterday afternoon, but actually I think it was just a slight variant on the usual stress symptoms. On the whole, and actual flu would probably be better for me – I could stop martyring myself by going to work all day and feeling crap for it, and just concentrate on feeling crap while tucked up in my bed.

Still, there are plenty of bright spots. The lounge room renovations are coming along, slowly but with occasional spurts of real progress. Tomorrow we will probably do some painting or put up the timber backing braces for the curtains.

I got to do some game playing on the weekend – an all-afternoon mashup between Buffy, Heroes and Castle Ravenloft, which was just relaxing and easygoing fun. I got to play the super-strong computer geek in a haunted castle where technology didn’t work :)  It was a fun one-off – I should probably look at playing more of those, where there’s no expectation of carrying on for multiple sessions.

Other than that, though, my mind is fuzzy and tired and I appear to have lost the knack for forming strong opinions or getting angry about gross iniquity. Someone want to point out something I should be furious about?

April 14, 2007

Oh no! My energy’s running out!

Filed under: now playing: anything,the renovated life,Uncategorized — lexifab @ 1:11 pm

Whinging about games again. For those of you not interested in such things, I will insert a cut link and the exciting news that we have finished painting the walls in the lounge as of a few minutes ago. Except for several weeks worth of enamel trim work, obviously:

(more…)

April 12, 2007

Let me tell you how good I am

Filed under: workin for the man — lexifab @ 10:49 am

Central to my career-long failure to move into a career that suits me better is this: I loathe writing job applications in general and my resume in particular.

You wouldn’t think it would be that hard – I like writing, I write about myself every single day (ahem) on Lexifab, surely I can string together a few pages of self-promoting puffery to convince potential employers of my great worth?

Uh, no. Every single word I type is like extracting teeth. Apparently I would rather do work – the work I am so desperate to escape, mind you – than take the time to sit down and update my CV for half an hour. There are some terribly annoying instincts lurking in my reptile brain, and apparently attempting to convince someone that I am wonderful creates a mental black hole that sucks in and crushes my will.

Stupid procrastination. Must. Channel. Hatred. Of. Current. Work!

April 10, 2007

Surprises

Filed under: workin for the man — lexifab @ 12:21 pm

Well that was interesting. I’m just back from a meeting in which the big boss revealed that he is leaving in a few weeks time. The interesting part is that, while I was aware that his contract must be up soon and that he would have to decide whether to renew it, it seems that I was just about the only person in the entire branch who did not know that he’d already made that decision.

In and of itself that’s not particularly significant – he’s a good boss, I’ve liked working for him but it doesn’t surprise me that he’s looking forward rather than endure another couple of years in the meat grinder that is our office – but what I find quite startling is that I did not have the slightest inkling about his going. More upsetting than startling, actually – it’s a good indicator that the sense of isolation and alienation from a workplace that I used to feel an integral part of is actually real.

My job and I have grown apart. Time to make a clean break.

My wooziness

Filed under: fitter/happier — lexifab @ 9:57 am

Bit sleepy this morning, which is to say that every few minutes my head lolls off drunkenly to one side. I need coffee in the most strictly medical sense, stat!

My own fault of course. I stayed up watching the cricket until three o’clock on Monday morning, then had my usual sleepless night-before-returning-to-work last night. Now I have a thousand yard stare, the complete inability to type quickly and an indecent pause between someone asking me a question and my brain coming up with an acceptable tone for the inarticulate grunts which have formed the entirety of my conversation since my arrival at work.

I’ll put up something about my weekend after I get that coffee.

April 6, 2007

Woohoo!

Filed under: news of the day — lexifab @ 11:54 am

Painting’s done for the morning! First coat of white on the ceiling and cornice. Easy! And so begins a few easy hours of idleness before heading off to Gazza’s place to watch TMNT with Flynn.

But on the downside, I have small flecks of white paint all over me that don’t seem to have come off with scrubbing in the shower. There is paint on my eyeballs. Woah!

April 5, 2007

I don’t think they’ve ruled out lupus…

Filed under: fitter/happier — lexifab @ 12:14 pm

My usually hairy leg now sports a great big shaved patch with a dirty great bandage in the middle, the site of yesterday’s biopsy – no, excavation – of one of the mole/wart/blob-looking things in residence thereon. It’s something that I have been meaning to get around to for, oh, about 5 years. It seems that finally the casual disregard for my own mortality of my youth is wearing off, thanks no doubt to Dad’s illness, stress-induced hypochondria and the timely prompting of the doctor at my last visit: “Is there anything else you were concerned about?” Oh, yeah, there’s that thing I’ve been meaning to ask about…

Testing will probably take a couple of weeks and there’s a very good chance that this will be the last I ever hear about it. The damned things have been there for at least 15 years that I can remember, and have never actually hurt or changed significantly or what have you. Still, better safe than sorry, yeah?

Besides, now instead of an unsightly sore, I now have a bare patch and (when the bandage comes off) an unsightly puncture scar. That’s  way cooler.

April 4, 2007

Is it the long weekend yet?

Filed under: fitter/happier — lexifab @ 12:44 pm

Everything feels like it’s leading up to a crisis – stuff at work, stuff at home, stuff in general – and it’s true what they say about the waiting being the worst part. That sense of helpless anticipation of something intolerable happening, some event about which you can do nothing at all, is an unwelcome bonus to the general work stress I’ve had for the past couple of months.

Bah.

April 1, 2007

Oh, right, that update

Okay, I might have said I was going to do an update during the day, but then I got all busy and stuff. Maybe I should pretend those good intentions were an April Fool’s joke. But instead I should probably just admit that I got distracted by new episodes of House and the Doctor Who. (By the way, if you’re reading this when you should be impatiently downloading the first episode of the new season of DW, your priorities are clearly dangerously skewed).

So, past couple of weeks, summarised:

  • Work – still not coping, but things are looking up. I had a chat with the embedded psychologist on Friday – that helped a bit. He recommended learning some meditation techniques, but managed the very neat trick of convincing me that it was practical advice rather than the  rather feeble suggestion made by the previous counsellor that I should attempt to minimise my stress. That’s all very well, but unless I actually stop going to my job, the job being the source of all my stress, it’s not altogether straightforward how to approach that suggestion. I will give the meditation thing a shot though.
  • Family – Dad’s had signs that his myeloma is coming back for a few months. Tests are showing that it’s still in the very early stages and he’s started a course of chemo. It’s likely to be pretty rough on him over the next couple of months. I worry about how Mum’s going to cope looking after him, not to mention keeping him from overdoing it. Dad’s never been that good at just sitting still and letting the medicine do its thing.
  • House – The plasterer and electrician have swept through the lounge and hallway, disconnecting all the light fixtures and resheeting the walls. Over the past few days we’ve started the painting, with two layers of undercoat slapped on so far. Next weekend we start the serious stuff, with probably a couple more layers of ceiling white and the wall colour (peach yellow) to go up. After that we have to attach backing boards above all the doors so that we can mount curtains, paint all the trimmings in bright enamel colours and install new lights and carpet. Preferably as soon as possible, so that we can get our lounge room back. At the moment we’ve crammed ourselves into just the dining area for our living space, which is reasonally comfortable but doesn’t allow for a lot of spreading out space.
  • Furniture – When we’ve finished the lounge, we’re also tossing out a whole bunch of the existing furniture. Fi and I went shopping last weekend and ordered a genuinely scary amount of new furniture. Not bought, mind you – it’s going to take us all year to pay it off, and it also has to be made first. I’ve never actually bought anything that had to be made specially before. It’s a disconcerting feeling.
  • Games – We have our weekly Spirit of the Century game going, which is good and getting better. I am finally starting to get a feel for the system, which is a step (crutch) I usually need to get past before I can really feel comfortable with a new game. I would like to be doing more playing – there are so many good games out there and no shortage of people to play them with – but the whole work drama has been leaving me a bit too drained to be proactive about it. Hopefully that is going to pass soon.
  • Broke – We have officially bought too much stuff, so I can’t quit my job and become a bohemian writer hanging around in cafes and bemoaning things. I’ll have to settle for a couple of double espressos a day and tedious bloggery.
  • NEW DOCTOR WHO! – Nothing specific, I just wanted to remind everyone that there is still good in the world. Also, that Freema Agyeman is terribly terribly hot.

Now I must shower and shave. My flatmates (well, Jimbo) tell me that I look and smell like a hobo. This is probably not an unfair categorisation.

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