Mathquake Supervisor (Fellows/Dean)

Mathquake supervisor sits alone
Sitting and a-staring at the courtesy phone
Wondering if you are going to call today
and if you did, what would you say

Mathquake supervisor sips his dreams
Sees your face reflected in the modern machines
Waiting for a moment that might never come
Heart trampled down in a Rugby Scrum

Oh no!  The phone just rang
Mr. Catastrophe man and the five-year plan
Must be fulfilled in the usual way
and so he washes his hands
Mathquake supervisor doesn't wear a safety visor
Can't see just what he had to say
Touche
To say

Mathquake supervisor eats his lunch
Picks up gerbils and drowns them in the punch
He's hoping at the phone on the rec-room wall
Though he knows you're never, ever going to call

Mathquake supervisor tried real hard
To read the instructions on the how-to card
He bought you lots of flowers
He took great pains
But now he's going to have to fry your brains

(chorus)

(instrumental)

Oh no!  The phone just rang
Mr. Catastrophe man and the five-year plan
Must be fulfilled in the usual way
and so he washes his hands
Mathquake supervisor doesn't wear a safety visor
Can't see just what he had to say
Toupe
To say