Keys (Versace/Dean)

I've lost a bunch of keys and I don't know where they're at
I didn't leave them in the ignition or leave them with my hat
I've just retraced my steps but they weren't at the laundromat
And I know they ain't been swallowed cause I just X-rayed the cat

I've lost a bunch of keys, and I'm in a worried state
I'm getting all frustrated, but I don't know who to hate
The pressure's getting to me, I'm taking it too far,
I'd be driving down to hell and back, if I could just start up my car

I've lost a set of keys, now I've lost the will to live
You say you think they'll turn up soon, but I think that's just a myth
I would have tried to kill myself, although it's a mortal sin,
But my gun's locked in a bedside drawer, and I damn well can't get in

(chorus)

Ah... can't go no place, can't shoot myself.
Guess I'll sit around and watch The Bold and the Beautiful.
Got myself popcorn... got a comfy chair...
Hey... uh... where's the remote control?
Here kitty kitty kitty kitty!  Here kitty kitty kitty kitty!  Here cat.

He's got keys, and he knows how to lose them
He's got keys, and he knows how to lose them